I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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