Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
