I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
