dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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