Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize