Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
