Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
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well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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