everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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