Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
