made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
