if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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