did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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