forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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