"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
