he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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