What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I am naked and annoyed.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
