..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
