i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
