He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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