i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
