Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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