I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize