I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
