This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
