We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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