He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
