I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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