I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
did i walk over a car last night?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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