I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
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I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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