Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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