I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Farmville is her only friend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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