Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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