sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
