i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
