His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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