Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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