Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
