This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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