dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Two words: nipple clamps
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