I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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