just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
