All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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