im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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