Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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