She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
