The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
