well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
