so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize