Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
