If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
