I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
