i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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