Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
