I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
