so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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