no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
