Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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