the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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