Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
