Porn is love you can see.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
