At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
