There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
