We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
